Why don’t I mind that my grandfather expected me to clear the table and not my brothers or their friends? Here’s why…
I never minded that my grandfather expected me to clear the table, because I was a female, because I also knew that it never, for one second, dawned on him that I might not be the absolute best at whatever it is I chose to do. Nor did he, for one second, believe that clearing the table for a bunch of boys was an easy feat. The fact that I was willing to make the dinner and/or clear the table for them was an honor I bestowed upon them. I had the power to say no, but I choose to save that for something larger, more meaningful than clearing the table, which was something I was happy to do if it was important to him.
He may not have had the same level of blind faith in my mother or my aunt, or even my brother for that matter, and candidly I wouldn’t know, but he definitely believed it of me. He believed the women he held dearest, his mother, aunt, wife, and mother-in-law were nothing short of superheroes.
When, at the ripe old age of 31, after recently marrying at the ripe old age of 30, I told my grandfather that I was going to law school he enthusiastically said, “Oh good! That’s great! Ya know, that’s the best education you can get. No matter what you do later, that is the best!”
Now, what he meant by “no matter what you do later…” can be debated all day long but I know what he meant. He meant that no matter what I did later, I would have had the best education and that is important. Even if he believed I should have a family and stay home to raise my children, he knew that was no easy feat and would have the same amount of respect for me if I did that as if I was appointed to the Supreme Court.
If I chose not to do that, whatever he believed my “later” activity should be, he would roll his eyes and mumble something about not being able to control young women – and YES, as I sit here today at 49, he would have known I was still a very young woman 😉 – and then remind me to work hard, get a good education, and fall madly in love!