Weird experience tonight. We are visiting an old friend of mine and her family. She and I have been drinking together since way back and we both have dealt with (and still do) addiction in our extended families. I was obviously going to tell her what was going on but I was still nervous about it. I sent her a heads up text that just said:
BTW I don’t drink anymore but I don’t mind if others do, in fact I encourage it.
She responded:
Cool. Can’t wait to hear about the transition.
When the kids were settled in with video games we settled in with drinks… me with my non-alcoholic wine and them with real stuff… and we talked about what was going on. It was the first time I really felt comfortable telling it like it is but I think that has more to do with the people I was talking to than my actual comfort level. But this was not the weird part.
Soon we gathered everyone up for dinner. It was a BYOB restaurant so I took mine and they took theirs. But, again, this was not the weird part.
The weird experience happened when we got home. Kids were getting ready for bed and we were having more drinks and there were several wine bottles and beer bottles on the kitchen island where I was sitting. Some open, some not. I was finding them ridiculously distracting. I could barely focus on conversation and I kept losing track. I had my non-alcoholic wine and it wasn’t like I wanted to reach for it (I mean, to be fair, I always would prefer a real glass of wine to the juice crap I’m trying to fake myself out with but it’s not like that was the issue). It was as if you were speaking to someone and a squirrel was running all around in the background. I am very distractable but it’s not usually by inanimate objects like a wine bottle. Then it started to bother me that it was all I could think about. Finally, my friend cleaned the kitchen and put away the wine and I was able to relax but it was the weirdest experience ever. The fact that everyone else was drinking wasn’t bothering me but the bottles near me was consuming my attention.
I keep saying it doesn’t bother me if other people are drinking. Maybe I need to revisit that. Hmm.